Saturday, June 20, 2009

Today is my birthday...


Today was my birthday and I am grateful that I am able to celebrate another year. I normally celebrate my birthday's with my family (mom, sometimes sisters, my husband and children). Today, I stayed in my bed with nothing to were outside playing with their friends, hubby was doing homework, and my mother and sisters were not able to see me. Going out to lunch, having a girls night out, being treated to something special, or just having a good time with friends is something I really never experienced on my birthday. Normally, as long as the finances are there, I am the one trying to go the extra mile for my friends...trying to show them that I care by calling, treating them, or sending special messages there way. Now I don't like to define a friendship by what a person does for you all the time. I am the type of person that feels like a true friend is a person that is there for you when you really need them. They pick up the phone and check on you now and then. They make an effort to be part of your life. When life gets rough they are there for you. This is the friend that I try to be. I am not perfect in regards to always being around, especially because I live so far from many of my friends, but I make an effort to let them know I still love them. As I laid in my bed all day feeling down, I looked at why I lack those friendships that made me feel someone cares about me for who I AM. Only one person, my bestie for about 17 yrs, picked up the phone and called me and I know a lot of people, lol. People that I thought were close to me didn't even bother. She was even going to try and visit me. She is the only friend that has actually came to visit me since I moved about an hour away from everyone. It is funny because she and I are opposites, but we always maintain our friendship. Differences and changes in our lifestyles cause us to not hang out a lot with each other, but we love and understand one another. If anyone else came to see me it was because I was doing something for them. I kindof got tired of of always being the one to drive and see someone, treat to a play or movies, or even invite somewhere...things just started to feel one sided.

I tend to be the one that gets the calls when someone is hurting, needs help, or needs to vent. I have always been that person. I have always been different and didn't do what everyone else did...I actually feel like that is what separates my friends from me. Me being different causes people to back away. I accept them, how come they can't accept me. I know a lot of people and find myself helping others, but true friendships are just hard to find. I do wonder if my definition of a friend is somehow misconstrued because I always seem to lack in the friendship area.

So, to my readers: What defines a friendship? What makes someone want to be a friend so someone? What makes you want to spend time with a person? What has a friend done for you that really made you feel special? How many close friends would you say you have? Did getting married or getting into a serious relationship change your friendships? Did having kids change your friendships? I would like to know...I am on this journey and praying that God shows me why has my life been this way...many times I am that same person that God has told me to befriend. No one should feel like they don't have a friend.

Call a friend you haven't talked to or seen in a while, be blessed and take care!

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